Tag Archives: love

What Once Was


Ashes to the ground then to the sky
While this fire it burns,
And the wild cry of Camelot rises
From the ruins of what once was
England’s glory and pride
Because peace and wisdom were sought after
And fought for,
A King wanting that for his people.

But Lady Peace and Lady Wisdom,
War is in this country of yours.
Blood is the color of your skies, Camelot,
As tempers are lost and no one seems
To seek for you, Lady Wisdom;
And your quiet strength, Lady Peace,
Are not in many of the hearts of men,
But instead mayhem – the Devil’s tool and foothold.

Lives are lost and sacrificed, and the living
Forget how to breathe
As they focus that the ones they love
Are dead and not coming back,
And not on what their loved ones gave to them
When they were with them.
So sacrifices made for them and the love
That was given are forgotten as if it were nothing.

O Camelot, O Camelot,
Why did you do that?
Why did you not trust your King?
Why did you take the lies for truth, and truth for lies?
Why did you lose what you should have
Held onto, and yourself?
Trust the hope that was waiting for you in this darkness?
That God would take you by the hand to lead you?

Will you do it again, though, like you once did before?
Will you believe with me, borrow what is mine and what I have
To help you in these journeys that we both have?
Will you slip your hand into His hand, Someone oh so beyond all this
That we know and everything else?
Borrow my smile, my laughter, my hope, my faith, and my peace?
Just take it, my love; I want to give you these flowers
That you’ve seen and grown to know that I love.

You’ve pushed Lady Wisdom aside during this time,
Getting caught by all that is happening –
Will you listen to her now, though, to her sharing her heart?
That this suffering we see is not for nothing,
Unless we make into nothing, though?
Because if you make the suffering and sacrifices that have happened
Into nothing, just like that,
Then it will be nothing to you when all along
It was something real in this world we live in to hold onto.




Love borne silently in the heart is hard to bear,

I miss you and think of you,

everyday it seems.

My heart is bare, you can see myself in my eyes.

I know now what the whispers of being sick

and weak with love now mean

because that is how I am now,

but not many see that –

I may be the only who can see that,

despite my eyes may be closed.


But love is a burden I am willing to carry –

my hands to be bound with love,

to love others, not just you, I am willing.

Ropes of kindness and love, I’ll be lead by.

I will plow the hard ground of my heart,

the stubborn stone that can be in my heart,

to plant seeds of righteousness

to harvest the crop of love,

along with the flowers that grow;

patience, and kindness, and joy in the truth,

perseverance, faith, and hope – in time, –

having fully again, a tender heart that responds

and a new spirit in me.


A/N: Hosea 10:12 (NLT), Hosea 11:4 (NLT), Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT), and 1 Corinthians 12:4-8 (NLT and KJV). These were verses in the Bible that I read over and over again, helping me write this poem. This is just something that has been on my heart for a long time.





{Hope Willn’t Die}

{August 13 and 14, 2015}

Yellow stars
fall to the ground,
but they crumble
and the stars
turn brown
and they shrivel;

without their skies,
dying because
they’re on the ground.

Yet stars
stare at me
when I look up;
and when I
look down,
the stars
still shine.

Hope has not died,
even if
my heart is broken
and hurting.

The stars
I love too dearly?
They will die,
but hope
will not die –
not this strong
and trustworthy hope.

Just like the stars,
hope will always shine
in the dark
or light.

My hope will not die,
and lies before me;
though I sometimes
may not
and do not
see it before me –

it lies before me;
strong and trustworthy,
and there.
This hope will not die.

I have
a future and a hope.


My hope will not die because God is whom I put my hope in, and he is my hope.

An Adventure With Jesus

I was walking with Him along a river that flowed north. On the right side of Him, holding onto Him as I walked; walking but not walking at the same time.
. . .
I couldn’t walk unless I held onto Him; but I knew that I wanted that: to not be able to walk but walk with Him. Only being able to walk with Him; and it’s true. I can’t walk without Him.
. . .
And I walked, I walked next to Him, Him helping me and I felt content. Peaceful. Not thirsty. Happy.
. . .
And I talked with Him and He talked with me, we both talked as we were walking together, along side the river that streamed down or up north.
. . .
A meadow was all around us with the river, as we spent time together and He taught me.
. . .
Then I saw the sky turn into pink and purple, and I saw stars. Stars coming into view, and then more kept on coming and coming, popping softly and unexpectedly into the night as I laid on His back and I lifted my hand to the sky, as he kept on walking.
. . .
I could feel His joy. His peace. Him.
. . .
Then I was staring into His eyes, blue/green with grey; and I saw so much. I saw Beauty.
. . .
I saw my mother; I saw the moments and sounds I kept as treasures in my treasure box; I saw the one I love; I saw everything that was beautiful; I saw Him.
. . .
He was Beauty, all in all.
. . .
He was beautiful. So, so beautiful.
. . .
I saw Him.
. . .
Then He changed, in a white tunic with his hair brown and his eyes still blue/green with grey; his face to the sky and His eyes closed yet I knew He could see me from the ground I stood and He could see  everything; the sky still pink and purple, the aurora lights waving, pink and purple and other small yet big, different colors around Him.
. . .
I saw Him; and He is Beauty. He is beautiful. He is Everything.
. . .
He was a Lion, then He changed but still stayed the same.
The pink around the lion picture, that was the almost same pink; and the color of His eyes were like that but with a little bit of grey in them.
Haha. He’s Jesus.
Jesus is Jesus.

[Frozen Trees]

[The Frozen Trees]

You turned pale with delight
last night,
as you stood
in yesterday’s frozen rain.
You gathered the ice in your arms
as you shivered
and woke up today this morn.
The tips of your fingers
were white
and your lips never turned blue
from the cold
as you drop glazed-looking,
small showers
on the top of my head
with your voice rich with laughter
as you frolicked
and ran your fingers
through everything you touched
with wonder
because you’re standing
in a winter wonderland;
you’re the frozen trees
all around my house.

{Peter Pan: a Valentine poem}

{Peter Pan: a Valentine poem}

You left me standing shocked
near to the open window
with the flowing curtains
as you flew away from me again.

Peter, please show up at my window.
You left me still with numb
when you whisked me away
and said those words to my heart.

You left your shadow behind
and it’s you that causes me
to stir in my sleep
and think of you in my dreams.

You gave me a kiss
in a form of an acorn,
when I was in your arms
and it’s what’s saving my life.

As we fly next to each other,
our hands are close
but not quite touching
as we hide in the shadows.

Your laughter makes me laugh
and makes me suddenly wish,
I could give you your thimble
in a form of a kiss.

But I’m scared,
you’ll fly away from me again
and fly away out of my view,
always off to adventures.

So quick, so nimble,
but would you be quick to understand
the look in my eyes
when you take me to Neverland?

Peter, show yourself,
I need you now more than ever.
Come into view,
I’ll come away with you.

I want to stay with you,
right here forever more
in the Neverland sun,
in the arms of my Peter Pan.

~ ~ ~

Inspired by a original song called, ‘Peter Pan.’ Also, inspired by my thoughts and Valentine’s day! Hip, hip, hooray! Nah, I apologize for the lovey dovey poem. :p

Thank you for taking the time to read this. 🙂

The link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ok0XbD2OrE

Suicide and Cutting Doesn’t Exist in Dada’s Love; For It Evaporates in His Presence

“Only special people want to commit suicide.” -Andy Rowe

People keep encouraging me. So many, people have been encouraging me; the people I know and I don’t know. I knew that people cared for me, but I didn’t know how much they cared for me. I guess, I did not really know that people really do care for me; despite the mistakes and things I have done.

This year, I’ve learned that people care for me, more than I know. I don’t know why I still ask the question, “Am I better off dead?”

Thoughts of suicide and to cut myself have not arisen in such a long time, but sometimes that question arises. “Am I better off dead?”

But I realized something, I have not had that question even come in awhile.

I do matter, and as hard as it sometimes is for me to believe that, I do.

I do. You do. Everyone does. There is reason why everyone is here, and that reason is a wonderful reason.

And like the title of this blog, that I am posting, suicide and cutting does not exist in God’s love. Once you come into his love, there’s no turning back; for nothing can tear us from his love. Suicide and cutting evaporates and ceases to exist, when you walk with God – for it does not exist in His World and in His Presence, it is nothing; His World becomes our world as we walk with Him, Dada.

“For God’s love never changes; it changes you.” -God’s Not Dead