Tag Archives: peace

What Once Was


Ashes to the ground then to the sky
While this fire it burns,
And the wild cry of Camelot rises
From the ruins of what once was
England’s glory and pride
Because peace and wisdom were sought after
And fought for,
A King wanting that for his people.

But Lady Peace and Lady Wisdom,
War is in this country of yours.
Blood is the color of your skies, Camelot,
As tempers are lost and no one seems
To seek for you, Lady Wisdom;
And your quiet strength, Lady Peace,
Are not in many of the hearts of men,
But instead mayhem – the Devil’s tool and foothold.

Lives are lost and sacrificed, and the living
Forget how to breathe
As they focus that the ones they love
Are dead and not coming back,
And not on what their loved ones gave to them
When they were with them.
So sacrifices made for them and the love
That was given are forgotten as if it were nothing.

O Camelot, O Camelot,
Why did you do that?
Why did you not trust your King?
Why did you take the lies for truth, and truth for lies?
Why did you lose what you should have
Held onto, and yourself?
Trust the hope that was waiting for you in this darkness?
That God would take you by the hand to lead you?

Will you do it again, though, like you once did before?
Will you believe with me, borrow what is mine and what I have
To help you in these journeys that we both have?
Will you slip your hand into His hand, Someone oh so beyond all this
That we know and everything else?
Borrow my smile, my laughter, my hope, my faith, and my peace?
Just take it, my love; I want to give you these flowers
That you’ve seen and grown to know that I love.

You’ve pushed Lady Wisdom aside during this time,
Getting caught by all that is happening –
Will you listen to her now, though, to her sharing her heart?
That this suffering we see is not for nothing,
Unless we make into nothing, though?
Because if you make the suffering and sacrifices that have happened
Into nothing, just like that,
Then it will be nothing to you when all along
It was something real in this world we live in to hold onto.




Love borne silently in the heart is hard to bear,

I miss you and think of you,

everyday it seems.

My heart is bare, you can see myself in my eyes.

I know now what the whispers of being sick

and weak with love now mean

because that is how I am now,

but not many see that –

I may be the only who can see that,

despite my eyes may be closed.


But love is a burden I am willing to carry –

my hands to be bound with love,

to love others, not just you, I am willing.

Ropes of kindness and love, I’ll be lead by.

I will plow the hard ground of my heart,

the stubborn stone that can be in my heart,

to plant seeds of righteousness

to harvest the crop of love,

along with the flowers that grow;

patience, and kindness, and joy in the truth,

perseverance, faith, and hope – in time, –

having fully again, a tender heart that responds

and a new spirit in me.


A/N: Hosea 10:12 (NLT), Hosea 11:4 (NLT), Ezekiel 36:26 (NLT), and 1 Corinthians 12:4-8 (NLT and KJV). These were verses in the Bible that I read over and over again, helping me write this poem. This is just something that has been on my heart for a long time.





An Adventure With Jesus

I was walking with Him along a river that flowed north. On the right side of Him, holding onto Him as I walked; walking but not walking at the same time.
. . .
I couldn’t walk unless I held onto Him; but I knew that I wanted that: to not be able to walk but walk with Him. Only being able to walk with Him; and it’s true. I can’t walk without Him.
. . .
And I walked, I walked next to Him, Him helping me and I felt content. Peaceful. Not thirsty. Happy.
. . .
And I talked with Him and He talked with me, we both talked as we were walking together, along side the river that streamed down or up north.
. . .
A meadow was all around us with the river, as we spent time together and He taught me.
. . .
Then I saw the sky turn into pink and purple, and I saw stars. Stars coming into view, and then more kept on coming and coming, popping softly and unexpectedly into the night as I laid on His back and I lifted my hand to the sky, as he kept on walking.
. . .
I could feel His joy. His peace. Him.
. . .
Then I was staring into His eyes, blue/green with grey; and I saw so much. I saw Beauty.
. . .
I saw my mother; I saw the moments and sounds I kept as treasures in my treasure box; I saw the one I love; I saw everything that was beautiful; I saw Him.
. . .
He was Beauty, all in all.
. . .
He was beautiful. So, so beautiful.
. . .
I saw Him.
. . .
Then He changed, in a white tunic with his hair brown and his eyes still blue/green with grey; his face to the sky and His eyes closed yet I knew He could see me from the ground I stood and He could see  everything; the sky still pink and purple, the aurora lights waving, pink and purple and other small yet big, different colors around Him.
. . .
I saw Him; and He is Beauty. He is beautiful. He is Everything.
. . .
He was a Lion, then He changed but still stayed the same.
The pink around the lion picture, that was the almost same pink; and the color of His eyes were like that but with a little bit of grey in them.
Haha. He’s Jesus.
Jesus is Jesus.

An Apology

I want to apologize for not having posted in awhile.

A lot of things happened, I slipped into depression again, but this time it was just on and off. Slipping in and out.

I’ve been stressed, ashamed, weak, tired, lately and so much more. Though I’ve been through those times of stress, shame, weakness, tiredness, and so much more – I’ve also been through times of thankfulness, happiness, peace, forgiveness, and other things too; and for that I’m truly thankful and happy about.

I want to thank all those who have liked my writings and who have followed my blog. It truly means a lot. I wish I knew how to explain, but the only way that I can explain that is simple is that I’m truly thankful and that it truly does mean a lot to a girl who didn’t think her writing was good at all.

If you don’t hear from me or if I don’t post anything again for awhile, I apologize. Later on, hopefully I’ll be able to explain, but what I can only say is that I’ve finally made a decision, and though I don’t know my future because my future to me is unknown, my God is known.

God is Known.

I’ve heard God and Jesus tell me many times that I am forgiven, that I am loved, that I am free, that I am His, and so much more. I’ve heard from Him and Jesus to not worry, and though my future seems to be unsure and I don’t know what will happen and how He will take care of it all, He will take care of all it.

You can worry. Or you can trust God. You can’t do both. it’s either I worry or I trust Him. I can’t do both.

I trust Him.

{Inner Turmoil: poem}

It’s like

an inner turmoil
because half
of your sky
is blue
and half of
your sky
is gray
in your world.
. . .
Your cold tears
fall down
and soak
into my skin,
making my eyesight
as I stand
in your arms.
. . .
The sound
of a wailing train
with the sound
of the wind
as it rushes
and sweeps
with the storm
inside you,
in your heart.
~ ~ ~
As I stand outside, calling for my cat, I noticed white tiny specks flurrying all around me. Haha, foolishly as I am often foolish, I thought mayhaps it was coming off from the trees for some reason or that it was white dandruff. Oh, the foolishness of me, not the cleverness of me, haha.
I finally realized it was snow when it melted into my skin. As it snowed for a little bit, I sat outside as I watched over my cat. Closing my eyes and letting the snow melt onto me and listening to the sound of the train near my home, thinking I’ll miss my home when I have to move this summer.
There’s a beauty and peace and joy in my heart as I write this. My jacket that had snowflakes clinging to its surface, now warming up and melting the coldness I had brought in from outside into the warmth of my home.

[Frozen Trees]

[The Frozen Trees]

You turned pale with delight
last night,
as you stood
in yesterday’s frozen rain.
You gathered the ice in your arms
as you shivered
and woke up today this morn.
The tips of your fingers
were white
and your lips never turned blue
from the cold
as you drop glazed-looking,
small showers
on the top of my head
with your voice rich with laughter
as you frolicked
and ran your fingers
through everything you touched
with wonder
because you’re standing
in a winter wonderland;
you’re the frozen trees
all around my house.

The Joy of the Lord Is my Strength

“Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” Psalm 100:1-5

Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10

~ ~ ~

I feel like jumping up and down for there’s this joy inside me. And the joy that I’m not sure how to explain is not the only thing in me, there’s this awe and holy fear and many other things that the only way I can explain and that makes sense to me is that what is in me is clenching my heart. Would it make sense, if I said and believed that God is clenching me in His loving grip?

I feel love and holy fear and awe and joy and peace  and a tinge of sadness moving in me, and I don’t want God to ever let go of his hold on me; and I don’t think he ever will. For I am his child. I am his adopted child that he loves and cares for despite the many mistakes I’ve made and the holes and ruts that I’ve fallen in and fall in.

Some days, I’ll think of myself and tell God, “Just let me go. I can’t do anything. Look at me. I’ve fallen in holes and ruts and sometimes still do and I make mistakes.” Though, I tell that to God, how many times I don’t know, he doesn’t listen to me and he still loves me and forgives me and does so much more. And though, I sometimes say and think that, I think deep down I don’t want him to do that. No, not think. Know.

I know that I don’t ever want him to let go of his grip on me for nothing can ever separate me from and his love. And today, I feel like laughing out-loud. I feel like running outside barefooted, racing winter. I feel like doing cart-wheels or tumblings as I used to call them in the Philippines and seeing if I can do twenty tumblings.

I feel His peace and holiness and love and joy and a holy fear and awe for him and a thankfulness to him; and just so much more. The joy of the Lord is my strength.

I hope and pray that all of you have a wonderful day and so on in God’s name! 🙂